I should have known that he didn't care. My words of sincerity and honesty just went down the drain. To be honest, I felt terrible. I almost cried infront of my family when they mentioned abt what day was it. I was lucky I could hold back my tears. Mum would have sense something wrong right away if the first tear went rolling down my cheek. Sometimes, I thought of hurting myself. Once, I really wanted to stand in the middle of the road hoping a speeding car will hit me. And the other time, I felt like purposely throw myself down the stairs. Feeling the real pain would be satisfaction. Let me tell you one thing, 3 years of memories are not easy to forget. They're wired through out your brain. I basically spent the whole teenage time with this someone. Now this someone doesn't care about me. If it was you, what would that make u feel? Humanity taught me to forgive and forget. I know I'm not that much of a good person, but grudges won't take you anywhere. But if u still hold on to that unsatisfy feeling, then might as well kill me.
Anyone might be reading this, but little did I know that there are some of u that felt what I've been through. More or less. I thought I'm in this alone and I'm wrong. I hope there's a chance for u guys to work things out. But whatever it is, be strong <3
This is what I felt before I checked my phone this morning. So screw this post. At least he replied, even not immediately.
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